Waiting Well

It's easy in the middle of the wait to start to question and even start to believe lies that try an creep in. Satan loves for us to question God's will. It creates distance and doubt during a time God is trying to strength our relationship with Him.

Here are a few questions that become easy to start asking while we wait.

"Did I hear God correctly?"
"I thought this is what God wanted me to do so why is it so hard?"
When uncertainty and doubt start trying to steal my joy I run to God, by praying and spending time with Him I can regain confidence as God guides my steps.

Am I not praying hard enough?
Prayer doesn't always change our circumstances but it almost always changes how I feel about my circumstances.
Don't know how to pray?
Just talk to God.
Sound bonkers? That's okay, you talk to yourself right? It's no different than that.
I always end my prayer the same way
"God not my will but yours."

Do I not have enough faith?
"Christian's: We have the same problems just a different solution."

Just because I'm a believer doesn't mean my access to God is different than anyone else's. That's the beauty of the cross, equal access. "The vail was torn" we don't have to go through a high persist anymore and unbelievers don't have to go through Christians. No one has to interceed for you. Right where you are you can go to Him. We are all unworthy but it's about a "consistent faith not a perfect faith" -Bill Stewart

I just think if you have tried other things and it's not working, why not give this whole God thing a try? What do you have to loose?

I know I use quotes and song lyrics a lot but "people ask me how do I know what I believe? Well I'm not the same me and that's all the proof I need." -Britt Nicole

I'm not perfect I constantly need grace and forgiveness, but I am a different person than I was 8yrs ago. I'll be different next year too, because this is about continued growth. I love that I don't have to pretend to have it all together. It's through transparency that people come to faith.

I'm thankful for our church. Our church is different, It's hard to explain...they call it "a hospital for the broken, not a place for the righteous." So if you're looking for the perfect church it's not ours, but if you're looking for a "come as you are" place where real people do life together there is a seat for you at The Table!
http://thetablecc.com/

Waiting seasons are growing seasons.
Yes its hard and it hurts, I know, I'm right there with you sweet friend but there is a purpose, one that we can't see right now.

If you're finding yourself asking some of these questions it doesn't have to be a bad thing. Just be sure that these questions lead you to seek Jesus and His will instead of letting the questions cause distance, resentment, and doubt.

A Day in Dallas

We spent the day in Dallas 

Jeremy and I started the journey in January of digging for awnsers on why we have had zero luck getting pregnant. 

And while January to March doesn't seem that long it has been. We began getting anxious in February when our last HSG failed. They couldn't get a catheter to pass at all. This of course brought up all kinds of questions and concerns. With our doctors telling us not to worry we waited. 

Doing an HSG is very time sensitive, they are pretty strict of the timing 7-10 days post period. So having to wait another month after the first one failed was annoying. 

Today we got some good news. 

We can have babies! 

Everything is fine!

My uterus is tilted which is why the first HSG was unsuccessful. 

It is such a relief to know that the last 27 months of negative pregnancy tests is nothing more than a timing issue. 

So now what?

Well we were given the option to start a medication to speed up this wait. We will continue to pray about that, but as of right now we don't feel like that's what God has for us. 

We will continue to seek Him for our next steps and continue trying. 

 And for the nerds (like me🤓)

Circled are my fallopian tubes (strand of hair) both are visable due to dye passing through and out meaning no blockade 😊

It is also worth noting that getting an HSG can help fertility because it flushes out your tubes,...so here's to that! 

Peace! Be still.

"I don't wanna think

I may never understand

That my broken heart is a part of your plan

I know you're good

But this don't feel good right now

And I know you think

Of things I could never think about

It's hard to count it all joy

Distracted by the noise

Just trying to make sense

Of all your promises

Sometimes I gotta stop

Remember that you're God

And I am not." - Hillary Scott

What do you choose to believe about Jesus? Is He good? We all know he's good, but I mean is he always good? Our pastor shared something on Sunday that I want to pass along. 

"Jesus is either a liar, a lunatic, or the son of God." -C.S. Lewis 

I just kinda loved that, it's true you can believe one of three things about Jesus

1) He's a liar

2)  He's straight up off his rocker.

3) He really is all he claims to be. 

 Let's re-read Hillary Scott's lyrics above again. Are broken hearts part of God's plan? And how is that "good"? 

The thing we have to remember is we don't get to see it all at once. We get bits and pieces at a time. So while we are down here thinking 

"God WHAT are you doing?" 

"Are you even awake up there?" 

"Great everyone and their dog is pregnant."

God is seeing the whole thing from above, and he's got the whole picture. So as we sit down here sounding like kids in the backseat on a road trip "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet? " Try and think of the wait as a checklist.

He loves you and me far too much to answer our prayer at any other time than the right time. What wouldn't get checked off the list if He answered your prayer right now? Maybe your faith in God's timing is strengthening someone else's faith? Maybe he is molding and shaping you? Maybe even maybe what you're going through will be what finally bringing someone else to faith?

I like to think when I get to heaven one day there will be various rows of people. And I'll be all like "umm who are these people?" And he will go by each row "This is your friendship row." "Marriage row." And I think there will be a delayed fertility row. Each row would hold people who were touched, effected, or even changed by witnessing the way I lived, by my struggles and how I handled them.

My favorite quote

"Preach the gospel and if necessary use words." -St. Francis 

Our actions and reactions always speak loader than our words.

Or this one. 

"Christians we have the same problems just a different solution."

Things aren't always easy but when we remember "Sometimes I gotta stop

Remember that you're God

And I am not." - Hillary Scott 

We don't have the whole story and it's not our job to. "What's the point in faith if you never have to use it?"- Jeremy Desnoyers

 How can you deepen your relationship with God if you aren't seeking that next step, if you're not having to rely on him? We wouldn't need him if...we didn't need him.  Sometimes God is just more concerned with changing us than our circumstances. 

Happy Tuesday sweet friends I'll end with this video. An accurate representation of what it will look like when all our box's are checked and God provides that positive pregnancy test. 😂

Why "Delayed Fertility"

If you look up infertility in the dictionary here's what you'll find

Infertility: The inability to conceive or carry a pregnancy to term after 12 months of trying to conceive.

My name is Magen I'm 29 years old.

I have been married to my best friend for seven years and we've been trying to start our family for two years and 7 months. 

So why "delayed fertility"? 
I have never liked the word infertility. Even prior to being here it never really set well with me. I'm not in denial, I'm just not willing to accept that terminology.

Here's the thing: This blog is going to be above all else REAL, real honest, real deep, at times it might be real sad, real funny. 

In life we have two choices we can let what happens to us make us bitter or better. Our reactions are the only thing we have "real" control over. 

This blog is not about me it's about who I'm becoming through what I'm going through. 

The truth is what we go through will change us. How are you going to allow what you're going through change you? How will you react?